Food

I've been thinking a lot about food lately. Or rather, how food is marketed to us. It makes me realize that not only am I getting better at understanding the way of the marketer, but it makes me sad to think that I fell for some of this shit for so many years.

Here's a starter example; wild berries. We've got "wild cherry" sodas, and "wild blueberries" in our muffins. What the hell do they mean by wild? Are they telling me that this flavor is "wild and extreme?". Cherry Coke has been around since the 50's - it isn't some new flavor phenomenon. Plus I don't see what could ever be extreme about baked goods. But maybe they really mean wild as in "berries grown in the wild". Again, bullshit - we don't even get real sugar in our colas. There's no convincing me that our cherry flavoring is coming from somewhere other than a factory in New Jersey. Plus there's no way that mass produced muffins are being made after people mosey into the fields by the woods picking berries that may not even be safe. Its the farm or the hydroponics plant, no question.

Then there's the ethnic slant. Apparently Americans have to be convinced that on every corner in Europeland there's a fancy little cafe with elegant fare that we wouldn't dare concoct on our own (because the English totally don't buy generic verision goods at Tesco all the time). Thus the explosion of "bistro blend" on every kind of food. I didn't know that "bistro" food meant sprinkling olive oil or sun dried tomatoes and maybe some fancier bread. Nothing beats consuming the same food as before with 10x more garlic in it.

Its the same with the East. Notice how everyone is in on the "Asian salads" and "Asian Veggies". These Oriental dishes are the same vegetables Americans have been eating for years, like fucking peas and carrots, with the single addition of mandarin oranges or some sort of orange glaze. Maybe some almonds too. Remember people - its Mandarin. You can't get more authentic than that.

How about the popular trend of "down to earth" products. Target sells fancier versions of all our favorite snack foods under the name of "Archer Farms", in order to convince us that this is all coming from some small secluded group of farmers somewhere in the midwest that just so happens to have the ability to supply every Target in America with Rosemary Soy Crisps. Give me a break. I'm also reminded of Seattle's Best coffee, which at first glance seems like a smaller, more authentic version of the sludge Starbucks sells- until you know that Starbucks bought them a while back.

I could go on - and maybe I will later when I remember a few more examples. I just wish they'd stop telling me that everything I'm eating is homegrown and made with the finest ingredients. I know I'm eating unhealthy, preservative jacked junk. I'm cool with that. Kay?