Satruday Morning

What does a bored college graduate do on with his spare time while waiting to hear back from employers? For the first time in a long time, I channel surfed this morning, which leads to today's topic: Saturday Morning Cartoons.

We used to watch this shit all the time as children, and when I say "we", I mean anyone who grew up in the 60's-80's. For me, the 'toons of the 80's were classics, stuff I'd still rather watch even now than what usually gets aired on TV. What better way to waste one of two weekend mornings as a child than with mind rotting junk like GI Joe and Transformers?

Apparently a lot, because Saturday Morning is all but dead these days. I mean, it still apparently exists, but it looks so different than what I was used to as a kid that I dare not even consider it to be in the same league. I looked into the subject, and found the usual culprits; video games, cable television, and internet activities now dominate children's activities. Loss of ad revenue has lead to less quality programming. Yada Yada Yada

But there's more to it than just new forms of time killers. Saturday morning is dead thanks to the touchy feely, everyone is a winner world of bad parenting that seemed to sprout up when my brother was growing up. It seems that my favorite decade was a dark period, when children were raised on violence and shameless toy marketing on Saturday mornings. Of course stupid parents didn't realize this until after the supposed damage was done, and decided to change things. They wanted kids to watch educational programming. They realized that families might benefit from genuine quality time. And maybe they should get these kids outside (lot of good that one's doing).

So what are we left with? Discovery Kids for one, which seems to think educational cartoons are actually hip and clever. Oh wait- most of the programs look like reality shows. What better thing to replace brain rotting children's programming than with brain rotting adult programming. And don't forget ABC Kids, which is trying its goddamn hardest to make a mockery of classic Saturdays with a horrible facsimile of programming. Perhaps worst of all is the Secret Slumber Party courtesy of CBS. The last decade has done just about everything to reaffirm to us that its okay to ignore an entire gender on a national level, so long as that gender is not female. At least the 80's had Rainbow Bright and Gem right alongside The Thundercats! By the way, that one's sponsored by AOL. What progress we've made.

I'm sure there's bias coming out here, but I really don't see how this is any better than what the 20-somethings grew up with. My parents never had a problem with my brother's and I watching those old shows; in fact they love them too! (they almost went to see TMNT this year. Almost) They were like that because they never let the TV raise their children. It was a treat among schoolwork, outdoor play, and whatever we did back then. That seems to be a foreign concept to folks these days. Modern kids' programming will teach them, empower them, and occupy them for as long as its on. Did parents really push for this change to better their children, or simply to make their own lives even easier?

Give me Starscream or give me nothing.