Just END!!

A fair CNN review of the last HP book, I guess. Here's my favorite part:

Rowling has attracted much criticism for her often clunky prose. However, for her millions of fans who have devoured the book just hours after its worldwide release, literary criticism is as irrelevant as a broken wand.

The quote is correct about two things. First, such criticism is irrelevant to the fans. That I know firsthand. And that's fine by me. My problem, the quintessential issue I have with these books, is the scond point; Rowling's prose is clunky and rather poor. And because of that, I can't get myself to read them. To the fans I know, that just doesn't cut it. And so they don't know to leave me alone.

I tried folks. I really did. I read the first book. I read halfway through the second. I found it attrocious and stopped. Admitting this to Potter fans is akin to getting the death sentence. How dare I not move on to the awesome third book, or other such rubbish. And again, my reason is always the same: I tried, and I didn't like it. But still they press on, as if the only way to make them happy is for me to punish myself with novels I don't want to read. Quite frankly, that is bullshit.

I don't even think I'm that bad in antagonizing HP fans either. If anyone has ever seen me diss the franchise, it is only immediately after they give me shit, or, as in a recent evening, after a whole flurry of shit comes at me from multiple directions. If you leave me alone, I'll leave you alone too. No harm, no foul. At least, that's the dream.

Here's an article I like from The Guardian about the Potter series. Agian, a good quote:

Here, from page 324 of The Order of the Phoenix, to give you a typical example, are six consecutive descriptions of the way people speak. "...said Snape maliciously," "... said Harry furiously", " ... he said glumly", "... said Hermione severely", "... said Ron indignantly", " ... said Hermione loftily". Do I need to explain why that is such second-rate writing?

I agree with this chap, and I'll tell you here and now that I can't finish a book with that kind of writing. I just can't. If you want to do so to enjoy the story and characters, that's cool. I won't think less of you for it (though I probably would if you considered the above good writing. Please don't :( ) . But I can't, and I won't. No harm, no foul. Right?

If there's one last thing that drives me nuts about the Potter mania, its the hypocrisy I sometimes see. I've often heard the explanation of "everyone likes it, so it must be good" when discussing them. These same people will then mock American Idol, Sex and the City, and other pieces of media that everyone loves, stating that "just because its popular doesn't mean it is quality".

I guess when they're actually in the group, it is a whole different matter. Pardon me for not understanding.

So go! Go back to Hogwarts for one last trip! I'm going to stay here in the Muggle world, reading my own guilty pleasures. You can even tell me how awesome it is when you're done! It will surely put a smile on my face to see you so happy.

Just don't lock me up in Azkhaban. Really, I have committed no crime.