300

300 is out, all of my good friends have seen it, and the decision is unanimous; the film kicks seven layers of ass. As I expected, many Internet critics, both professional and amateur, have different things to say about the movie. I'm rarely one to take offense when something I like gets slammed in a review. However much of the criticism towards 300 bugs the hell out of me because of how very ridiculous it all is. Allow me to go over some of the more annoying things I've heard in the last few days. Note that none of these are direct quotations, but are paraphrases of some general opinions.

"In this time of war, 300 seems like serious Bush Administration propoganda"

This one is the worst, because all you have to do to be sure is to do a bit of homework. The graphic novel for 300 was written in 1998. That means that a pro Bush piece was written.... in the Clinton years? How does that make sense? The real answer is that it is a film about the greatest soldiers to ever live partaking in grueling combat that just so happened to have been created in wartime. Clinton and Bush politics have zero influence on the nature and timing of 300 the novel or the movie. What did have an affect was the fact that Frank Miller had a very great success with Sin City, and it would be crazy not to further capitalize on his other works. Are people that desperate to find meaning in coincidence?

My brother made another good point; 300 is about a small, independent state defending against an overwhelming invasion. If anything it is anti-imperialist, and nothing like America's aggressive actions.

"300 is clearly racist and homophobic"

This one is tough. I guess you could see that in comparing the Spartans to the Persians. But it seems like a stretch to say that this is the movie where someone is making such bold statements, and instead is the reaction by an oversensitive America. Every group in the Persian army would have been likely found in the actual historical battle (though some Greeks probably would have been with them too). They also weren't viewed as incompetent. Maybe worse soldiers against the Spartans, but they still managed to win the initial battle and struck some fear into their opponents. As for Xerxes, the man thought he was a god. He had piercings all over. Clearly this is a deranged man. That's how I viewed him - crazy, but not gay. Not with all those women he had! The Persians were a massive army from all over the world. This was reflected in their look and numbers, end of story. Maybe they could have done a better job, but again, people are looking far too deep into things in order to satisfy themselves.

"The movie is not historically accurate blah blah blah"

The worst part about this one is that it always comes from people who knew it wouldn't be accurate before they went to see the film. So what point do they have in bemoaning something they were prepared for? Simply to flex their intellectual muscles in front of the Internet crowds. We get that your smart. No one cares.

"The film has no anti-war message, etc"

I'm getting sick of every critic grasping for something anti-war in action films, or for some deep political message in modern film of any genre. I've read reviews for children's movies where they seem to find some messages to ponder (and most of the time they're right!) I don't see why an action film about an epic Greek battle can't revel in themes of glory and resistance. Furthermore, it seems that every film made these days won't rest until it makes you think "man, I knew Bush was dumb, but I didn't know he was an idiot too!" I'm sick of all the not so subtle messages being thrown in my face every time I rent a DVD. I can think for myself Hollywood, so stop pushing whatever agendas you have onto me. Or in the case of 300, I won't think, but partake in a kickass action flick.

The moral of this story? Liberals are as bad as conservatives, though they won't tell you that. They seem to think that because they are the opposition, they're also the ones in the right. But they don't have the right answer, and they're not at all about equality and acceptance for all. It becomes more and more obvious that these folks try to attract the lower class and the common man so they can use a bit of pseudo intellectualism and persuade them to whatever agendas and bullshit they want. And when they see something that doesn't adhere to their strict rules, then its time for some haughty insults and condescension. In the case of 300, the film doesn't make everyone happy or treat everyone equally, and it doesn't try to mess with modern times in its attempt to look at more basic and ancient concepts. Apparently that is a bad thing.

Screw you guys, I'm buying the collector's DVD.