Friday, August 04, 2006

Weekend News

Welcome back ladies and gents. Time for the Weekend News.

-Tropical Storm Chris has come and gone, and won't be bringing a hurricane to the Caribbean. I finally get a storm named after me, and thankfully it didn't cause any widespread destruction. Though this is the perfect oppurtunity to make some sort of lewd joke about me usign words like "fizzling out" and being a "drop in the bucket". Go on. Be creative.

-A minor league baseball teamis having a special "Britney baby safety night", in order to teach parents proper child/car safety, while mocking a moronic celebrity for endagering her child. I'm very much looking forward to next month's event, titled "Dumpy, whiny celebrity who has her husband whipped and fires Jack Lalanne's son" night.

-A bar waitress in Ohio checks a young woman's id, and finds out it is her own stolen license being showed to her. The thief is charged with identity theft, and what's worse is that she happened to be 23 years old, and thus legally of age. So answer me this; if you can drink, why are you using a stolen ID? Even freshmen aren't that dumb.

- And our Miracle Baby, the State of Kansas. A bed and breakfast owner in Kansas is facing severe reactions from his small town, after he hung up a rainbow colored flag. To the couple, it is a simple souvenir from their child, but to others it is a symbol of gay pride and support. The preacher has threatened to arrest them, and the radio station wanted to pull their ads unless the flag was removed. Business has also suffered due to the boycott. Of course, no one in town made the association until a few loudmouths wrote about it in the paper, and one man is quoted as saying
To me it's just like running up a Nazi flag in a Jewish neighborhood. I can't walk into that establishment with that flag flying because to me that's saying that I support what the flag stands for and I don't

Yes folks, someone just compared the symbol of the Nazi regime to a flag bought at a Wizard of Oz museum. If I ever have to go to Kansas, remind me never to stand under a blue sky and yellow sun, with red shoes and a plaid shirt on, while watching the Olympics. Somone funnier than me needs to make a joke tying this with "Intelligent" Design.

That's it for this week folks. I leave you off with this wonderful quiz testing your video game knowledge. I got a 90%. Can you match it?

2 comments:

Timmy said...

It is certainly a good thing that Tropical Storm Chris didn't go blowing everything in town.

christian wolfe said...

Can someone dethrone the champion?